Recently Roxane Gay released a new book focused on her relationship with her body. This new book brought me to re-read one of her bestsellers Bad Feminist.
Who is Roxane
Roxane Gay in a writer, professor, commentator, and a fellow graduate of Michigan Technological University. She has written and published several short stories and essays of fiction, non-fiction, sex and feminism, she is also a writer in World of Wakanda of Black Panther by Marvel Comics. Roxane writes in a way that brings up big issues and splays them appart, no apologies, and she isn’t lacking any finesse in her writing either.
What is a Bad Feminist
In her Bad Feminist Essays Roxane shows how everyone is flawed from denying privileges to objectifying herself and other women, but yet still being a feminist at soul. We all have downsides, we all objectify others, and I am and you could be too a bad feminist.
How to be Friends with other Women
One of the first essays in Bad Feminist is on how to build positive friendships with other women. Now the list is a total of 13 rules and tips to friendship, here is just the jist of it and how I am going to incorporate the rules into my friendships with other women.
It is not acceptable to have toxic or bitchy friends. Women do have the right to be rude and shitty but that kind of attitude should not spill into relationship, figure out what’s wrong and either fix it or get out of that friendship.
“I tend to have more male friends than female”. So is being more masculine better than being feminine? Like is being a woman and around women an embarrassing thing? Being friends with more men than women if fine, but if you see this as a conquest then maybe you should look into yourself a bit. Maybe women are not the problem, it could be you.
Only wish your friends only the best. Jealousy happens, but wanting to see friends fail is wrong. If you are jealous keep it to yourself.
You don’t like your friends S.O. that’s fine, but is telling your friend how you feel going to affect the friendship? Sometimes just telling a fraction of the truth is just as good as being honest. And sometimes just waiting it out is even better.
Nepotism. Take advantage of your friends skills and collaborate together. Working together will help out both of you and build stronger bonds.
Don’t take down other women. Constructive criticism is the way to go.
Don’t get into emotional, romantic or physical relationships with your friends significant others. If your friends S.O. is into it, don’t do it. They are an asshole, and assholes are dime a dozen.
“Get get yourself a fresh asshole of your own”.
If something is wrong, talk about it. Be sensitive and listen.
Overall support other women, befriend them, listen, support and know that not everyone is perfect. Accept that even you, yourself, is a bad feminist.
I am going to continue to read and re-read Bad Feminist and Hunger. I am going to incorporate the rules into my daily life. I am going to criticize constructively, support, and be honest with the women in my life. I am going to accept my mistakes and forgive others for theirs. I am going to love all and accept all, even if I don't agree with them. I am going to continue to be imperfect, funny, loving, and supportive of women everywhere, even if we don't see eye to eye. I am a bad feminist, that is okay.