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What Happened To Us (an open letter to women in 2014)

Dear Ms. 2014,

As a boudoir photographer, I wanted to share my experiences with you in dealing with women of all ages, races, socioeconomic classes, and relationship statuses.

Daily, I receive email after email inquiring about my services. These emails are often riddled with questions about what to expect, what to wear, and what the finished photos will look like. Often times, I'm asked how much I retouch my photos, if I can smooth out wrinkles, shave off a few pounds, or hide some other unwanted or disliked body part. Week after week, I come face-to-face with these women spending equal time reassuring them, as I do photographing them.  Each and every woman, who walks into my studio despises a part of themselves. That is the one thing that each of them have in common.

The truth is, I never, EVER, see these women the way they do. To try and understand why they are so insecure, I'll ask them about their relationships and lifestyles. No one has ever told me, "My husband can't stand my body." And if they did, I'd be devastated for them. But at least then, I'd understand. I can't even tell you why I despise my own body; my husband doesn't complain! So, why are we like this? And how do we stop it?

Personally, I think we need to stop criticizing one another. We need to look at each other and say, "You look fabulous!" or "Wow, you are beautiful." Maybe once we stop looking so critically at others, we can stop looking critically at ourselves. Then, we need to instill in our youth that beauty comes from within and starts by loving yourself. This is true for little boys, too! You can't think for a second that your self-loathing hasn't rubbed off on him! Oh, yes, my friend, it has. He is developing his views of women based on how his mother sees and respects herself, as well as how his father treats and respects his mother.

So, I challenge you, Ms 2014, to help break the cycle! Let's not raise another generation of women and men with unrealistic views of what a women's body should look like. We need to teach our youth that twerking for attention is not cute. We must foster confidence in one another, so that women do not remain in abusive relationships, believing they will never find someone that truly loves them for who and what they are. Lastly, we need to instill an unconditional love of women. We are not evil, hateful, or bitter. We come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. We are capable of love, and love being loved!

With the utmost love, and respect for you, 

xoxo

Clique Boudoir Photography